Bird's Eye View
by Maxniss Everide
Summary: Gale and Katniss attempt to save Peeta but find a very unpleasent surprise. In attempt to poisen Katniss, Snow finds that he had made a dreadful mistake. My friend wanted me to post this, so I did. It might only have two chapters though.
1. Part 1: The Failed Rescue

**Ok, this is a lame and random idea. I told my friend and she said, "Post it on fanfiction!" so I did. Don't hate me, it's a parody. I might add one more chapter after this, but that'll be it. Okay, here it is. Sorry that it was a huge paragraph before! I fixed it now! :)**

Katniss and Gale strolled through the streets of the Capital. They had both left their families in District 13. Why not? For once somebody else could take care of them.

Katniss was happily eating an ice cream cone while Gale was devouring a hot dog. Then Katniss was trying to remember something. Something important...

"Let's go to the Zoo!" exclaimed Gale happily.

"Aren't we here to do something important?" Katniss asked.

Gale tried to think. Then he smelled food.

"Yea, didn't it have to do with food?"

"I like food, especially cheesy bread. Hehe", Katniss giggled.

All of a sudden, a really random cheese bun hit Katniss on the back of her head. She spun around and csught it before it could hit the ground.

"Ooh! My favorite!" she squealed. She took a bite out of it before she saw the message in it. Gale snatched it from her and read: IT'S PEETA. HELP! THEY'RE GOING TO- It cut off where Katniss had taken a bite. "Stupid message isn't finished", complained Katniss. Then she grabbed the bun out of Gale's hand and ate it.

"That's evidence!"

"Tasty evidence", Katniss licked her fingers.

Gale facepalmed.

Then both of them saw President Snow walking a bird. Well, maybe flying a bird, but the President was walking.

"Hi, Katniss and Katniss's cousin", he said brightly.

They both could smell the blood from where they stood. Gale, however, didn't care.

"Wow, your the PRESIDENT?"

Snow stopped, the bird tugging at it's leash.

"Can I have your autograph?"

The President took out a notebook, signed his name, and tore out the paper for Gale. None of them realized that the bird had flown away. President Snow held an invisible leash, completely oblivious.

Giggling, Gale shoved the paper in his pocket. "You do realize he's evil, right?" Gale looked up.

"I know. When we kill him though, we won't be able to get his autograph."

It was Katniss's turn to facepalm. Another random piece of bread fell from the sky, hitting Katniss in the head. It fell to the ground.

"Five second rule!"

Katniss picked it up and noticed it wasn't a cheese bun. She brushed away a tear. It had another message. Katniss read: SORRY IT WASN'T A CHEESE BUN, BUT I WAS AFRAID YOU'D EAT IT BEFORE YOU READ IT.

"Darn", said Katniss. I ESCAPED, THANKS TO YOU. I'M ABOVE YOU NOW.

The bread was still warm, but Katniss threw it to the ground. She wanted a cheese bun. Gale snatched it off the ground, gobbling it up. Katniss looked above her and saw something that shocked her.

It was a jabberjay, holding a piece of bread.

"Ehh, I actually ate something that a BIRD was holding?" Gale shuddered.

The jabberjay rolled it's eyes. Then it flew above Katniss, dropping the bread in her hand. DON'T EAT THIS, 'CAUSE I WANT IT AFTER YOU'RE DONE READING THE MESSAGE. THEY TURNED ME INTO A JABBERJAY. Katniss threw the bread at the jabberjay, which caught it in its claws. It flew to the ground, pecking at the bread.

"So, you're Peeta..?" Gale asked the bird. The bird glanced at Gale and opened its mouth.

"President Snow wants you guys captured", it said in Peeta's voice "He only has me as bait. He wants Gale killed so that there won't be a love triangle." It paused, then glanced at Gale. "I think he's going for Team Peeta." If a bird could smile, it seemed to pull it off.

Katniss asked, "So, you ARE Peeta, right?" It nodded. The bread was just sitting there, so Katniss snatched for it. 'Peeta' pecked at her.

"Hey, don't peck at her!"

Katniss stroked her hand while Peeta the bird glared at Gale.

Then there was awkward silence. Then Peeta yawned the way a jabberjay could. Katniss was sucking her thumb, because Peeta hurt it and neither of the guys could or would kiss it. Gale was eating the piece of bread that Peeta had been eating (he had grabbed it while Peeta was yawning). They all watched the bazarre Capital people walk by.

Katniss broke the awkward silence.

"I'm bored. Can we fight President Snow already? I want to see one of you die!"

The bird and the guy just stared at her.

"Well, we'll have to fight him SOMETIME", stated Peeta.

"That's an understatement", muttered Gale.

"Where is the President's house?"

Peeta coughed. "We were there before, Katniss."

Katniss smiled sheepishly. "Right, I knew that", though she didn't. "I meant I didn't know how to get there from here."

Gale facepalmed and Peeta rolled his eyes. "I wish I could still facepalm", Peeta told Gale.

Gale countered, " I wish I could fly away to someplace, far away from you and these weird Capital freaks."

All the Capital people stopped in their tracks.

"Excuse me?", asked one.

"No, that's not what I meant!" They walked towards Gale.

"Ahh!"

Gale ran away with people chasing him.

"He's a goner", Katniss said. Peeta nodded as if to say, "Duh!" Peeta flew to the President's house, with Katniss following behind.

When they got to the President's house, they saw Snow looking frantically through his yard.

"My bird! My bird! Where are you?" Peeta landed on Katniss's shoulder, thinking of how oblivious the guy was to the fact that he was RIGHT THERE. With Peeta on her shoulder, Katniss walked into the house. They looked around, not knowing what to do.

Peeta had an idea.

"Why don't we go into the study? I want to read THE HUNGER GAMES!"

Katniss blinked. "But we're _in_ THE HUNGER GAMES!"

"So?"

They went into the study to make Peeta happy.

"Well, this is boring."

There were no books in Snow's office, only the smell of blood and a bunch of fangirl posters. The posters ranged from TWILIGHT to posters of Katniss and Peeta in the 74th Hunger Games.

"Ugh, I kissed a bird", said a disgusted Katniss.

"I wasn't a bird then!"

"But you are now", said a voice that wasn't Katniss. Katniss spun around, dropping Peeta on the floor. President Snow laughed manically, then stopped abruptly.

"Are you hungry?"

"We're from District 12; we're always hungry", stated Peeta, who was rubbing his head with his claw.

Snow smiled like a little kid on Christmas.

"Will you have lunch with me?"

A few minutes later, Katniss was seated at the table with Snow. Peeta was standing on twenty phone books on a chair.

"So...", began Katniss.

"I'm still a stupid bird..", stated Captain Obvious.

"Yes, yes you are", said President Snow. It was silent for a while. Peeta pecked at his food, which consisted of all types of breads.

"So, where's your family?" asked Snow.

"District 13."

"It exists!", Peeta and Snow screeched.

"You didn't know?" Both shook their heads.

"I'm going to attack it", claimed Snow.

At the most random moment, Katniss collapsed.

"Yes, it worked!"

Peeta landed in front of Katniss.

"No! Katniss, I never told you that I loved you!"

"I think you mentioned that a few times in the Games, just a little", said the President.

"Oh yea, right. I meant, true love conquers death!"

"But she never loved you."

"She was confused", Peeta defended, though he looked pathetic because he was a bird.

"Whatever. I'm going to get a cup of coffee."

Snow left the room. Katniss twitched, Peeta hopped back.

She began to shrink.

"NO, what's happening?" asked a worried Peeta.

The President came in. "What? This isn't supposed to happen! She's supposed to be DEAD!"

Both watched helplessly as Katniss began to transform. Feathers, then talons, then a beak.

She had turned into a mockingjay.

**So yea, um, please review! Thanks! ;D**


	2. Part 2: The Epic Escape

**The next chapter... Haha. I have no idea why, but I love making fun of the Hunger Games! Maybe because it's always so serious..? Yea, let's go with that! So, this is probably the second and final chapter to this story!**

**Enjoy :D**

President Snow kept on hitting his head against a random wall, muttering, "Why didn't I get a pony on my fifth birthday?" Peeta, however, ignored him, paying to much attention to the bird version of Katniss.

"Eww, now I almost look as bad as you", she told Peeta in mockingjay language, which consisted of musical notes.

Then Gale, who had the most impeccable timing, burst through the door.

"Die, team Peeta lovers! DIE!" he yelled as he squirted his water gun. The two birds got soaked.

Gale looked around, confused.

"Uh, where are Peeta and Katniss? Am I in the wrong house", he asked Snow.

"No, you just burst through the _other _President's door", Snow said sarcastically.

"Oh, okay", agreed Gale, because he just didn't understand sarcasm.

Gale ran out the door as Snow facepalmed.

"I still wish I could do that", Peeta commented.

The President looked at him and said, "Okay, now escape you two. It's not as exciting if I can't catch you!"

If birds could shrug, Peeta and Katniss did. Soon after, they flew out the door. However, Katniss hit a wall, still not used to flying. After Peeta helped her up, they escaped Snow's mansion.

They found Gale, who was asking a random guy in the street for directions. Peeta and Katniss landed on Gale's shoulders. The random guy ran away, screaming something about a bird flu.

Peeta said to Gale, "It's us, Gale! Katniss got turned into a mockingjay!"

He looked Katniss over.

"Eww a bird", was all he could say before he realized it was a mockingjay. He whistled a few notes and Katniss whistled them back.

"Sweet!"

Peeta interrupted, "Gale, you just told her that her feathers make her look fat in mockingjay language!"

Katniss pecked at Gale's head and tweeted something.

"Now she said that your head's too big."

Gale brushed her away.

"Maybe it's because she's too small."

Katniss flew off Gale's shoulder to find what the random guy dropped.

It was a Blackberry.

Then she tweeted, "Gale's head it too big. I bet there isn't even a brain in there, just a bunch of animal traps! Also, he hates his Team Gale fans."

Then she entered it.

Yes, entered it, because she tweeted it on Twitter.

She made sure that all the Gale's Team Gale fans could see it.

A minute later, a bunch of screaming fangirls tackled Gale and dragged him away.

While that excitement was happening, Peeta and Katniss were sharing a bag of popcorn that they took from a popcorn stand.

"Do you think we should help him?" Katniss asked Peeta.

"Are you kidding me? This is the best part of the whole day!"

Then Peeta tripped over a small piece of popcorn on the ground.

"Nice, Peeta", Katniss said sarcastically.

President Snow ran to Peeta and Katniss, with a giant mutant dog behind him.

"It's not fair! every time I try to poison any of you, you turn into something!"

The President paused.

"Is Gale getting attacked by fangirls?"

"Yup", Peeta answered brightly.

Snow continued, "Just look at what happened to Cinna! He was supposed to die so Katniss would be devastated!"

The mutt waved.

"I'm not looking devastated right now", Katniss chirped to Peeta.

"What'd she say?" asked Snow.

"Nothing", answered Peeta. "Just bird jibberish."

Then Katniss went on Twitter and told the Team Peeta people that Peeta hated them. Another swarm of fangirls rushed over to them.

"Where's Peeta?" asked one. Snow pointed to the jabberjay.

"That isn't him! That's a jabberjay!"

Then they ran off in search of Peeta, though they would never find him.

Then Snow surprised everyone.

"I'm going to turn you back into humans."

Cinna did some kind of whine that wa meant to be a gasp, Katniss gasped so hard that she choked, and Peeta fainted.

Snow took out a little bag and said, "This stuff will turn you into humans again. It's kind of boring to be chasing birds around."

Then he took out what was in the bag and sprinkled it on them.

Yes, sprinkled.

"Is this fairy dust...?" Peeta asked uncertainly.

"Don't judge me!"

Then Peeta held his hands up in surrender.

"Okay, Okay -wait"

He was holding up his _hands_.

Katniss flipped her hair. "Yes! I'm not a dumb bird!"

Cinna was jumping in glee. He hugged Katniss and Peeta.

Then they noticed that the President wasn't there.

"Hey, where's - oh"

They found a monkey on the ground.

"Should we turn him back?" asked Peeta.

"Are you kidding me? This is the best thing I've seen all day!" Katniss answered.

Gale got away from the fangirls, his clothes torn. Then he noticed what was on the ground.

"OOH GLITTER!"

"Should I be concerned for him?" Cinna asked Katniss.

"Hmm, no, he's always like this", she answered.

Then he sprinkled the glitter on the monkey/Snow.

"NOOOO!" The all screeched.

Snow turned back into a human.

"AHH!"

They all ran with Snow chasing them. They saw a train leaving the station, and they jumped on it. Snow tried to follow them, but he ran out of breath and tripped.

They saw the District Thirteen hovercraft hovering above them. They all grabbed the rope and climbed up.

Soon, they'd be safe in District Thirteen.

However, they weren't thinking about safety, they were only sad.

They never got to go to the Zoo!

**Yea, so that's it. I hope you liked it! I kind of had to rush through this though :(. I have to do other things today... grrr. I'll try to update the Mockingjay Festival soon though (and to any of you Maximum Ride lovers, I'll update my Max fanfic as soon as I can too!)**

**So yea, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!**


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